I am the dark blue of a tumultuous sea, black at the depths where despair has sunk like a rusting sea vessel. Once bouncing with hope on white caps, wind at its bow, sun on its decks, now lost to wave after wave of angry, anguished, storm tossed sea. Sunk to the bottom where the light can’t reach, resting in the sand like an abandoned dream.
The dark blue-black sea lives inside a shell of yellow and pink swirled aquamarine. To the world I am sunshine, hope, and hype. I’m a light filled smile and a gentle blue-green of compassion, hints of pink fuzzy love to lift you from your own black depths. The world doesn’t know what lies inside. The world is not allowed to see the inner workings of the outside shell. The world gets the happy yellow, the calm aquamarine, the soft pink. Whatever it needs will swirl into being because I aim to please.
Inside I am a bruise. I am the muddied palette of chaos theory. I am a swirling cloud of dark blue and black, streaked with silver bolts of anxiety. Energy directed to the outer shell to keep the colors from fading, from melting into the core, where I exist as a tiny point of light waiting out the storm. I am the once sunlit shipwreck waiting for rescue.
I am layers. I am a bright shell over a dark cloud, sinking to a singularity of white hope. What you get is not always what you see, but what has been chosen to be seen.