The tree sits in darkness waiting to glow with the coming of dusk. Silent presents almost vibrating with anticipation of tomorrow.
Malls have been walked with their lights and noise and gifts carried in big paper shopping bags. Gifts to be taken home and hidden until the time to be wrapped. Maybe that’s the best part of the whole season. Carefully choosing a gift for someone else to hide and wrap and reveal with hope in our hearts that they love it as much as we love them.
Hot chocolate has been sipped while watching Frosty or Charlie Brown or The Grinch. Popcorn has been popped for A Muppet Christmas Carol and A Christmas Story. Their dialogue sprinkled into everyday life throughout the year.
Gingerbread houses have been assembled with hot glue (because it’s easier and no one eats them anyway) and decorated with gumdrops and sprinkles. Cookies baked with sweet icing and laughter. All with a soundtrack of Merry Christmas Darling, Dominick the Donkey, Please Come Home for Christmas, Last Christmas, and added to the playlist this year, All I Want for Christmas is You.
The month is winding down in fog and rain instead of snow. The El Niño calling for 55 degree temperatures and the birds singing like it’s the first of spring. Today will become a whirlwind of cleaning, last minute wrapping, company, and a buffet of desserts, but for now I sit in the last silent pocket on the advent calendar and try to restore my belief in peace on earth. I sit in a pocket of privilege when others sit in rubble. I sit full when others starve. I sit under quiet grey skies while bombs are dropped from blue skies a world away.
For all the Christmas trappings of a holy child, I do not pray and I do not believe. All these hymns to a God who allows children to be bombed, yet I will not kneel to an empty sky. I will light the tree, listen to Silent Night, give my children the memories of Christmas, and remember how lucky I am to be able to do that. How lucky I am to have an intact home, and children who are whole.